He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
try to milk me bitch
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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