Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
