Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
