No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
