She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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