So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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