I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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