I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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