I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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