Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
