i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
