This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
honey bunches of taint.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize