I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
