Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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