he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
