I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
