you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Damn victory sex feels great
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
