even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
