Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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