First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
