the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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