I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
