oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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