My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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