O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
