We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize