Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
