Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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