YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
