what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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