O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Two words: blizzard sex
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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