TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
