I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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