that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
