It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
