i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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