nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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