we have officially lost it.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
