i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
where am i from again
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize