sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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