dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize