I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Randomize
