At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
