Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
