they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Floor bacon is actually really good
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize