remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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