dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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