It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
