1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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