Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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