The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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