I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
