Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
