They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
