Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
