I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
