i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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