I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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