Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Randomize
