it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Found your dick twin last night
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
