You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
