is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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