2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
