I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
