There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
