Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
