She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
