i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize