quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
