Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
